Biting the Bullet

14-Feb-09 - Rather appropriately for Friday 13th, yesterday was a trip to the Royal Sussex Hospital in Brighton for a capsule endoscopy (you know, you swallow a miniature camera and it takes pictures of your insides). This is part of a long-term ongoing series of procedures to do with a vitamin B12 deficiency - I won't bore you with the details. The visit itself was fraught: the Royal Sussex is the size of a small town, and there was no map, so, of course, we ended up at completely the wrong end, there was nowhere to park and the lift to the second floor had broken down. I sat outside in the freezing wind while Jill queued for nearly half an hour to get a parking space, and we eventually got to the relevant department 40 minutes late. The staff, however, were absolutely wonderful, and the whole thing was sorted out in 20 minutes. So what has this got to do with 'biting the bullet'?

Well, it's not so much the hospital visit as the events surrounding it. If you've read earlier posts you'll know that I am continually threatening myself with going on a diet, but also that, given what I do for a living, it's not easy to get going. Working from home is another disadvantage - you're just too close to the kitchen... And the wine cellar.

Let's go back to Thursday 12th: I was allowed a light meal at lunchtime (some rice, chicken and a poached egg) and then nothing but water, juice and other drinks until 10:00 pm. At 6:00 pm I had to take a sachet of that stuff which clears out all your tubes, and after 10:00 pm I wasn't allowed anything at all. To make matters worse, I woke up in the night with an appallingly painful attack of gout in my left foot, which kept me awake almost until dawn. So my visit to the hospital was a uniquely painful experience, leaning heavily on a stick and every step like treading on knives.

The following morning, after the visit, I was allowed a light snack at lunchtime (plain chicken sandwich) and then water or soft drinks until the process was complete. At this point I had had no food for 24 hours and nothing but water for 39 hours. I had to stay on water (plus a sneaky Lucozade) until the procedure was finished, at 7:30 pm, at which point I was able to disconnect the kit and get back to normal. A large one suddenly revealed nuances of flavour and complexity I had never suspected, and the bottle of Darien 2004 we had with a chicken korma and rice had rich, blackcurrant and vanilla aromas which wafted across the kitchen as soon as I pulled the cork. My senses of taste and smell had been markedly enhanced by a period of abstinence.

So during this 48-hour period I had had time to asses the various aspects of what was happening. I know little of medicine but I suspect that the gout is somehow related to the vitamin B12 deficiency, and that the vitamin B12 deficiency is somehow related to being overweight, and probably that too much alcohol is a contributory factor to being overweight, although my GP and the nursing staff at the surgery and the hospital have always been too polite to say so. I decided, however, that I did not ever want to go through what I'd been through over the previous two days ever again.

Back in 2003 I did a charity weight-loss on the radio for the local children's hospice and lost 16kg (2½ stone) over six months, by the simple expedient of only having something light in the middle of the day (perhaps a sandwich or a bowl of rice or cereal) and no alcohol until after 6:00 pm. In addition, however, I still had to continue working, so the diet had to fit around my working life: if I was attending a lunch, dinner or wine event then I'd have to juggle things around as best I could. It's not a quick way to lose weight (the last time averaged out at 1¼ pounds a week), but it's manageable and it works. Having subjected my body to a 'boot camp' régime for the last two days I decided that this was as good a time as any to kick-start a new diet. I'll let you know how I get on.